A glmps of this moment @ Manurewa Library

Giving the girl a book

A glmps of this moment @ Manurewa Library

NATALCURRY CONTEST

If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no
Hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly.
For those of you who have lived in Natal , you know how typical this is.
They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July.
It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB.
Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting
From America.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a
Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment
and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by
the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and,
besides, they told me I could have free beer during the
tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2-- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3(Frank) -- Holy sh*t, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.

CHILI #2 - PHOENIXBBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3-- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
Wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer
When they saw the look on my face.

CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2-- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3-- Call 911. I've located a uraniums pill. My nose feels like
I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now.
Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone
is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2-- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3-- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the
beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is
starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1-- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2-- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the
chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no
longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The
contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage.
Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher.
I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges
asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1-- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2-- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3-- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I'm
worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand
behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to
wipe my ass with a snow cone ice-cream.

CHILI # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge # 1-- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned
peppers.
Judge # 2-- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a
can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this
stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit
of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3-- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing- it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting
any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch
hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...
Judge # 1-- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2-- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No Report.

Why do we yawn?

What exactly is Yawning? Why do we yawn? Isn’t GOD’s creation so interesting, with every tiny detail of it!

I have been wondering about wondering recently… I've been doing a lot of it recently!... guess where it happens mostly? At work of course! I just farted too, but I never wonder why we fart, because I think that is obvious.. I feel sorry for the person that just came in the room!

So how is yawning different to normal breathing? Since it’s my first day of relieving in the respiratory clinic at Greenlane Hospital then perhaps I should ask one of the sleep specialists or nurses.

Ok I know that science says the brain needs oxygen (O2) and when we’re tired we don’t breath enough Oxygen in so we yawn to inhale more oxygen and stay awake… yes ok, makes sense maybe… but what is Oxygen anyway?? What is air?? What makes it such a vital thing in order for our brains to live and work??

My point actually is that yawning does not seem like such a necessary thing to us, and when it happens we try to stop it using various ways, right? So we can all imagine life without yawning, so I just find it quite interesting and fascinating that GOD has kept such an insignificant little thing as part of HIS creation plan! Of course HE knows what’s best for us.

Little Rules of Parenting

By LISA BELKIN

Sometimes a kernel of wisdom, at just the right moment, can make all the difference.

Chris Jordan, who blogs over at alphamom.com, has a wise and wry list that might speak to you today. It’s called “16 Things I Have Learned About Being a Mother,” and it stems from her realization that the most important lessons of parenting are rarely “about the big issues: breast vs. bottle, to circumcise or not, cry it out or never sleep again. No, the things that matter most are the little things, the small lessons we pick up along the way.”

Among the lessons that most spoke to me:

3: One day your child will shout that he hates you. Although you logically know this isn’t true, it will cut you to your core. Take solace in the fact that this means you are doing your job right. You aren’t your child’s friend. You are their parent. You probably hate you too, sometimes.

4: When your kids are behaving in a way that makes you least want to give them affection and attention, that is precisely when they need it the most.

6: You can never have too many vases. If you are lucky they will always be filled with flowers. Sometimes those flowers will look an awful lot like dandelion heads. You will love them the best.

14: Cheerios. When your children are small you are required to carry around a container of them. Always. I am not sure if any kids actually eat the Cheerios. BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT!

16: Never underestimate the healing power of a good cocktail at the end of the day.

You can read her whole list here. You can read a similar list I wrote for my son’s 18th birthday here. Then use the comments to inspire the rest of us with little things you have learned.